Sunn O))) to release double 12-hour album for 2016

The co-founder of drone metal band Sunn O))) has revealed that he wears a cape during live performances in order to mask the uncontrollable laughter that overcomes him whenever he thinks about people spending money on Sunn O))) recordings.

In a candid interview that lends weight to what many non-Sunn O))) fans have long suspected, guitarist Greg Anderson conceded that the group was started as “a bit of a joke” — and that he still doesn’t understand who in their right mind would spend money on a drone metal album.

“Sunn O))) was a joke band,” says O’Malley. “Seriously, our first album came from, like, an hour of dicking around with guitar feedback. You’d have to be so incredibly high to appreciate that recording, which I guess goes to show that anything will sound good if you smoke enough narcotics,” he says.

“So anyway, Sunn O))) was a joke band and that’s why we wear hoods on stage. I still can’t believe people take us seriously and that the press rave about us. People actually pay money for our albums and then they want to see us on stage. Fans expect us to be all grim and serious, they don’t want to see a bunch of dudes laughing their asses off, so that’s why we wear thick hooded robes.”

In explaining the success of Sunn O))), O’Malley draws a comparison with Lou Reed’s infamous Metal Machine Music album, released in 1975 as a cynical way to close a record deal or (depending who you ask) Reed flexing his creative side.

“Lou Reed was off his tree when he recorded Metal Machine Music. It’s literally 64 minutes of unlistenable noise. I said to Greg [Anderson, other Sunn O))) co-founder], hey man, if Lou Reed can win critical acclaim for releasing a double-album of total shit, then surely we can have a go too. That’s why our latest album, Kannon, took six years to release.”

"We could release an hour of time-stretched cat yodelling and people would still buy it."

New Sunn O))) album for 2016

“The latest Sunn O))) album, Kannon, goes for all of 33 minutes. And did I mention it took us six years to release?” says Anderson.

“We could release an hour of time-stretched cat yodelling and people would still buy it,” he says. “As long as it’s slow and has lots of bottom end, no one can tell the difference. We’re a ‘drone metal’ band after all. That means we can release anything we want and call it music.”

“The good news is, we’ve got another album coming out in 2016. In fact, it’s going to be an awesome double album. It will have two absolutely epic tracks, each one a 12-hour rendition that represents everything that Sunn O))) is about. In fact, we were so keen to release these albums, we shared them on the internet for everyone to enjoy. You can check them out below.”

New Sunn O))) album from 2016 (disc 1)

New Sunn O))) album from 2016 (disc 2)

Yes, this article is satirical. There is no truth to any of it.