Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene

Doom metal… desert rock... stoner metal… occult rock. Whatever you like to call it, whatever it is to you, it seems like there's never been a better time to like it.
Not that it ever went away, but its resurgence is doubly fascinating when you recall that the genesis of doom metal and stoner rock goes back close to half a century: to Friday, February, 13^th, 1970, to be precise, when Black Sabbath’s self-titled debut album defied its way onto the airways and into history.

What must it have been like to hear the track Black Sabbath for the first time? To hear that haunting bell chime and spine-chilling down-tuned tri-tone (played that way by guitarist Tony Iommi, as you probably know, as a consequence of a horrific hand injury)? And to have a young Ozzy Osbourne declare “what is this that stands before me”?

Actually, many critics panned Black Sabbath upon its release — and didn’t they get their comeuppance. Everyone else, at least if they were cool and open-minded, discovered something dark and amazing. Friday, February, 13^th, 1970 is widely acknowledged as the birth of heavy metal and while doom psych stoner vintage desert groove metal rock have been with us ever since, 45 years after Black Sabbath’s debut, this style of music is bigger than ever.

Whether it’s the fact that even Iceland can spawn a successful vintage rock act; the large number of festivals popping up around Europe and North America dedicated specifically to this family of music and all its ugly cousins; or realising that it is commercially viable for a record label to sell double-vinyl re-issues of ultra-obscure, suicidally slow, agonizingly heavy Australian cult death doom, it’s never been cooler to like doom metal.

Which, as it happens, is magnificent news for the unforgettably-named Melbourne group that calls itself Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene.

Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene

I came across Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene via my professional day activities where I have a connection with one of their associates. We got talking about music (note: this is one of the great things about rock and metal) and he kindly provided me with a promo version of the debut album, Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene: Facing The Ruin.

Facing The Ruin

You get no points for guessing what a group calling itself Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene sound like. The totally ’70s, Black Sabbath-esque, Master Of Reality-inspired logo is a strong hint. The way this band legitimately includes the word DOOM in its name is another.

I wonder what this band sounds like?

But just in case that’s not immediately apparent, Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene play great riff-filled, hazy, smoky music for equally great riff-filled, hazy, smoky rooms.

It’s doom on the lighter side, with plenty of classic and psychedelic rock moments and lots of groove and swagger, occasionally foraying into punk territory, but their bread is still very much buttered on the side of the psychedelic doom tradition.

One could bang on about them, but as with most written descriptions about new albums and releases, the best way to figure out what you think is to check it out for yourself.

Fuck The Fitzroy Doom: Dream. This is track one from Facing The Ruin , and it starts off as Black Sabbath worship in the best possible way.

Track two: White Crystal Lady. This one’s much faster, even going a bit punk, but it gets tamed back to the mid-pace stoner riffs soon enough. No idea what the subject matter of White Crystal Lady could possibly refer to, just like no one knows what Ozzy was singing about in Snowblind and Sweet Leaf.

Track three: Better Off Dead. Those big, groovy riffs take off again. Also, it’s very nice of Fuck The Fitzroy Doom to provide so many videos. As mentioned, the three videos are all from the one album, which happens to be their debut. They’re rather serious about spreading the word.

Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene: Facing The Ruin veers backwards and forwards and around, under and straight through jolly big riffs. They're not overly fuzzed out or face meltingly heavy, just lots of good solid, hard rock riffs. The album spends a lot of time mostly on the mid to slow side and occasionally picks up the pace, before ending on the very chilled out and appropriately named closer, Leaving.

Facing The Ruin is a slow burner, a grower, and an album that is best savoured on multiple occasions. They key is, I’ve found, to give it a couple of listens and willingly open up your hearing canals to allow those ear worm riffs to emerge from the haze and bore into your head.

What’s with the name?

Whether you like it or not, and whether you intend to pay it any heed or not, something that regularly gets Fuck The Fitzroy Doom noticed is the group’s name.

There’s a theory of advertising that says a piece of promotion is inherently effective even if it’s irritating or annoying. That is, an advertisement is effective, according to this school of thought, even if annoys the pants off you. Why? The mere fact that it managed to get your attention means it is successful.

To be clear: there’s no suggestion that Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene make annoying or irritating music. But the name surely gets them noticed.

As mentioned, doom metal and stoner rock is Serious Business around the world right now — and it’s getting bigger. If your objective is to stand out from this surprisingly crowded pack, you might as well grab the attention of onlookers from the very moment they’re presented with even half a fleeting chance to become aware of your existence. So often that first point of contact is on a flyer or event invite. If someone remembers you on the basis that you’re called Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene, then you’ve gotten noticed and presumably achieved your mission.

Or have you?

I asked my associate contact what the story was with the name and he said they came up with it while rather drunk. “Fuck the Fitzroy doom scene,” one of them had said. For non-Melbournians, Fitzroy is an inner city suburb, kind of Bohemian and hipstery, and I’m told the comment was made in reference to the seriousness and gloom that the group members felt was afflicting various local doom purveyors.

Hence, Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene came to be, and hence they play a style of stoner rocking doom psych metal that is big, riffy but nonetheless fun.

The band known as Fuck The Fitzroy Doom Scene in many ways embodies how big this music is right now. Here’s a local Melbourne stoner doom rock band, getting known overseas despite having no more than a debut album under their belts.

Remember, you saw it here first.

10 best EBM industrial tracks on the Endzeit Bunkertracks VII Soundcard (and they'r free!) | Top Tuesday, 11 August, 2015

Last week (ok, two weeks ago but I got sidetracked) was about the five best tracks on the Endzeit Bunkertracks VII compilation. If you haven’t come across it yet, this massive compilation comprises a four-disc box, a bonus CD, plus a 50-track download. It spans no less than 136 tracks in total with a whopping 10:18:50 play time.

Such a volume of EBM and industrial music is not something one gets through in one sitting or digests in a week. In fact, it’s taken more than three months (I bought the set in April) to get through the lot.

I can tell you that one of the surprises was the quality of what was on the Soundcard compilation. It has some outstanding EBM / industrial / aggrotech / dark electro / dark electronic stomping music / call it what you want tracks; yet the fact that it’s all on a free-to-download industrial music compilation is even more amazing. Seriously, you can get it here: Endzeit Bunkertracks [Act VII] soundcard.

Endzeit Bunkertracks Soundcard

As mentioned, the Endzeit Soundcard has 50 tracks. While many are bog-standard music in this genre, there are many more that are brilliantly quirky, if not outright weird in the best possible way. The Endzeit Bunkertracks VII Soundcard is hardly a storage bin for the cut-offs and filler. The overall standard actually well above average, and as mentioned, amazingly enough, it’s a free compilation. So when you grab it, make an effort to buy something. Induce the label that releases amazing compilations like this one to do it again.

If you need convincing, here are the 10 best* industrial tracks from the Endzeit Bunkertracks VII Soundcard.

Durandal X Xiescive: Rabid

Industrial music is always at its best when it’s doing one of two things. The first is when it’s being thunderously, face-meltingly intense. The second is when it’s being skin-crawling creepy.

Rabid is a somewhat minimal electronic track that firmly fits into the latter. Even though it has some of the old screamed cookie monster vocals, they’re kind of in the background. Most of the track is left open to allow for a long, spoken word sample, which sounds like it’s lifted straight from a medical lecture from the 1940s. The title is a giveaway, as the sample eerily describes the increasingly horrific effects of a rabies bite.

The final line says it all: “The patient becomes quieter. He lapses into a coma. Which is followed, inevitably, by death”

Third Realm: Deliverance

An amazing track that’s best appreciated by actually listening to the damn thing. This is mid-tempo, ‘contemporary’ (whatever that is) industrial music with a slight hint of guitar. The driving force behind this is the superbly shouted vocals, electronically processed in a way that gives the whole thing that much more of a tortured edge without actually reverting to the cookie monster effect.

It’s also repetitive, in the hammer-the-point-home kind of way that ensures there’s zero doubt about what the message is and where it’s going.

Diverje: All The Fakes (Touched By Stahlnebel & Black Selket)

A little bit like the above, but more tongue in cheek. It’s still slightly above mid-tempo and the vocals are still harsh (but still no cookie monster here) but slightly less so than the above.

This track is all about the soaring chorus. In fact, give it a couple of listens and the vibe of the entire track is that the whole thing is one big chorus.

I’ve got no idea what the topic is bemoaning. Something about how “All the fakes… Come together… To take over.” But it makes you want to come back again and again.

Shadow Lady: Species (Endzeit Mix)

Processed, semi-vocodered electro-ed vocals are easy to get wrong, and can work wonderfully when done well (usually if you’re Daft Punk or can otherwise afford to spend three continuous days working on three-second sequence).

Species (Endzeit Mix) has a kind of simple, catchy 4/4 electro vibe which on its own wouldn’t stand out from the pack. The inclusion of heavily processed vocals, not so much chopped up as reshuffled, is what makes this track. I don’t know the vocalist’s name but what she’s doing works.

There’s something very quirky about. Maybe it’s her disarming accent?

Synapsyche: Breath Control

A slightly generic but catchy EBM / future-pop (does anyone even say “future pop” anymore?) synth-line with some equally generic and shouted male vocals. There is, however, one dominating vocal sample: a short, repeated loop (from the vocalist herself?), that somehow just works.

They must have had thought that less is better. I’d like to fantasise that when they were making music, they somehow recorded this vocal snippet and decided to keep it and see what they could do with it.

As with the Shadow Lady track above, maybe the secret is the vocalist’s rich accent? They’re from Italy after all.

M.O.D.: Without Regrets

You’ll love or hate this. Dancey and kind of cheesy-sounding synths, with heavily accented, shouted, girly (very girly) vocals. If you’re not into this kind of thing then you’ll likely see it as somewhat whiny.

If, like me, you think it rocks, then you’ll dig the pace, danceyness, and quirkiness. This ain’t cookie monster mush; but it’ll make you want to move in just as much.

Hasswut: Nicht Für Mich

Honestly, when making EBM industrial music, who needs any sort of singing talent, let alone awareness of the concept of staying in tune? All that’s required is an utterly commanding (and, preferably, somewhat gravelly) German speaking voice.

Nicht Fur Mich (which translates as “Not for me”) is all about rather basic, sort of uplifting trancey uplifting synths, put in their place by that utterly commanding, not-even-shouted-but-still-awesome German voice.

In the finest tradition of EBM and industrial music, this track compensates for melody — and even basic singing in tune — with raw vigour and energy.
And German.
Especially when your band name literally translate as “hate-anger”.

Antibody: Shrimps

The mandatory tongue in cheek powernoise track. The track would be little more than knuckle-dragging, super-distorted, ear-bleeding industrial noise — until you realise that the ‘ingenious’ overlayed spoken sample that forms the basis of the track is none other than Bubba from Forrest Gump recounting the enormously long list of variations on shrimp recipes. In German of course.

It’s funny enough in the translated dub but it ought to work just as well for English speakers.

Hey, remember what I said last week about gimmicks in industrial music?

Neonsol: Manipulation

Once again, this track proves that less is often better. Like Synapsyche’s Breath Control, the hook on this track is very much based around a single sampled and much-repeated vocal sample.

In German, of course.

Which means that it’s reminiscent of Hasswut’s Nicht Fur Mich, only that it’s less gravelly and somewhat more… authoritative?

Add to that vocalists Nina’s contribution. She skips the accent entirely and goes straight for the German vocals instead (although I hear their home country is Denmark).

Neonsol call themselves “solar-powered electronic dance beats”. Seriously, it’s on their Facebook page. Whatever that is, it’s got a hard-to-ignore quality to it.

Psychiocold: Burn In Hell

Take a simple but cool synth line that sounds moody and a bit fatalistic. Play it long — perhaps overly long — until it becomes more about effect or hypnosis rather than variety. Then add some slightly ephemeral vocals.

If this had less production going on behind it they might call it darkwave.  But it’s atmospheric, vaguely spooky and gothy, yet epic without being excessively stompy.

I can see the goths furiously swirling their capes to this while the scowling rivet heads (you’re not allowed to smile so this is how they show feelings of joy) stomp their boots accordingly.

* I say “10 of the best” tracks because, if you check back to last week, the best track on Endzeit Bunkertracks VII is Aim & Execute: Phantom Energy. It’s an absolute barnstormer and in my view, it’s the best track on the whole compilation.

Endzeit Bunkertracks VII | Top five Tuesday, 28 July, 2015

It’s been an EBM-industrial kind of week. Specifically, the EBM gothic industrial electro aggrotech (or whatever the kids call it these days) stompin’ dancin’ music released by the Belgian Alfa Matrix label on this year’s Endzeit Bunkertracks VII compilation.

The Endzeit Bunkertracks compilations are some of my favourite industrial music compilations. First released in 2005, teach of the Endzeit series releases is based on a four-CD set, packaged in a cardboard box with some nice artwork to boot. A graphic artist who knows what they’re doing is usually commissioned to do the cover art, layout, and separate artwork for each CD sleeve. The basis of each compilation is a mix of primarily rare and unreleased music (more on this later) by well-known artists alongside some new or incredibly obscure ones.

Earlier this year I acquired the Endzeit Bunkertracks VII compilation. Echoing the commercial state of CDs and other physical media, Alfa Matrix now offers the Endzeit compilations with a considerable amount of added value, which is of course awesome if, like me, you love physical media.

 Say what you like about physical media, I still love and buy CDs.
This is actually an older photo and I’ve added another shelf or two since.

Endzeit Bunkertracks VII

This year’s compilation is huge, comprising the four-CD set, plus the ‘generic’ label-wide Sounds From The Matrix 16 CD compilation (I believe they offer the Sounds From The Matrix compilations as bonuses to other paid for packages), plus the download-only Endzeit Bunkertracks VII: The Bonus Tracks compilation.

This last one is a free download compilation so one could argue that it’s not ‘true’ value. Personally, I choose to see it is a legitimate component of the official package – plus I got a plastic card with a download code.

All told, the complete Endzeit Bunkertracks VII compilation including Sounds From The Matrix 16 CD and the Bonus Tracks counted 136 tracks for a total duration of 10:18:50. Yes – 10+ hours!

That’s some package. It takes more than a few listens to properly digest that amount of music!

Now that I’ve finally gotten round to it, here are five of the best tracks from the Endzeit Bunkertracks VII compilation.

Aim & Execute: Phantom Energy

As mentioned, one of the best qualities of every Endzeit Bunkertracks releases since the 2005 debut lies in the fact that they offer a superb mix of well-known and obscure artists, with all track ostensibly rare and unreleased.

10 years later the ‘rareness’ of tracks is something of a moot point due to the instant gratification that everyone expects from streaming and downloading.


Nonetheless, as I said, I still love physical media and physical media packages that offer bonus download content. I also love the fact that this compilation has been curated — compiled, since it is an industrial music compilation after all — with the intention that it be enjoyed in a specific order, balancing the well-known with the obscure.

The track Phantom Energy by Aim & Execute is an example of how an obscure artist gets to be heard in the same breath as the likes of Combichrist, Noisuf-X and Alien Vampires, all of whom feature on Endzeit Bunkertracks VII.

I’ll preface this by saying that, in my view, so many of the best dancefloor-orientated EBM goth industrial Endzeit aggrotech whatever you want to call it anthems have what I call a gimmick — usually a sample (come on… Exterminate Annihilate Destroy) or something derived from a sample.

Don’t get me wrong, I love gimmicks with all my heart, but what grabbed me about this track was that it still kills, but without any obvious gimmick.

Phantom Energy features some superb Noisuf-X / Agonoize-style stomping, accompanied familiar distorted cookie monster vocals. What makes this track stand out — apart from being well-written and having just the right level of stomp and swagger — is the addition of non-distorted, actual human shouted metal-punk vocals, instead of those traditional distorted growls. It’s something you rarely hear with this style of music and it sounds absolutely demented, while still fitting in beautifully with what this music ‘ought’ to convey — whatever that is.


Listen to this track, especially the second half, and try and tell me that Phantom Energy isn’t a raging stormer of a track, superb for both listening and stomping. My only criticism? The recorded volume on those angry human vocals relative to the rest of the track is a tad conservative. They’re maybe on a 5 out of 10 and deserve to be on at least a 7.
Otherwise, this is angry, demented dancing music at its very best. I truly hope this becomes a club hit and Aim & Execute: Phantom Energy is my favourite track on the whole Endzeit Bunkertracks VII compilation.

Amazingly, for such a quality track, Phantom Energy by Aim & Execute appears on the free download set.

PreEmptive Strike 0.1: Epos Of The Argonauts

Hey, remember what I just said about gimmicks? Epos Of The Argonauts by Greek artist PreEmptive Strike 0.1: takes a gimmick — and amps it up to epic proportions.

I ain’t complaining that sooooo much industrial music sample science fiction / horror / war movie films, but nonetheless, it’s awesome to hear a track that so quirkily pulls off not just samples — but the entire vibe of a track — from a very different kind of movie.

Specifically, the fantastically camp, 1963, stop-motion special effects, sword and sandal epic that is Jason And The Argonatus.

Yes, this is an industrial track — seriously, the artist is called PreEmptive Strike 0.1 — and the track is about a bunch of ancient Greek heroes going on an adventure, fighting mythological monsters and giant bronze living statues, and taking that Golden Fleece. It works wonderfully. Great stuff.

Diabolic Art: Fortitude (and every other previous Diabolic Art track)

Google [Diabolic Art industrial] and see what you find. Not much, right? I’ve discovered precious little about this artist, which is a real shame considering how awesome he, she or they are.

“Mysterious” is definitely the right term for Diabolic Art. So far I’ve determined that Diabolic Art is most likely from Japan, goes under the alias of DJ Taiki or Taiki, and has put out a few tracks and remixes that I can only describe as transcendentally dark and creepy.

You really have to hear it for yourself (good luck finding much!) to really get it. I would describe it as kind of vaguely dark-psy, but stripped down to a more minimalist sound.

Everything I’ve heard from this artist has ranged from very good to excellent. If you want downright dark, maliciously hypnotic, eerie industrial music, this is it.

Now if only Taiki — whoever that is — would be a bit more open about their music, then I could get my hands on an album or release.

Amduscia: Una Esperanza Rota

So for some reason I always thought Amduscia had a very close association with Hocico, or were one half of Hocico, or something like that. They’re both from Mexico. They make terror banana aggrotech industrial. They’re practically the same group, right?

Well obviously not. But whatever it is about Mexico, there’s something about the place that gives these artists an uncanny ability to make amazing electronic music based on tunes and sounds that, on their own merit, should not reasonably be considered to stand out or be awesome. That is, these Mexicans have a superpower whereby they make music that is more than the sum of its parts.

Amduscia’s track Una Esperanza Rota is a case in point. It features what ought to be a generic as all hell bass-line, vaguely reminiscent of the famous 90s hard trance track by Überdruck, Drugface. The main synth sound should also, on its own merits, be considered generic. The production is rough and there’s even some of that low-end electrical interference buzz sound (you know, the sound a power unit or amp makes when it’s just sitting there, plugged in).

There’s nothing mind-blowing going on in this track, yet the sum of its parts as a whole amounts to something much greater. It sounds powerful, compelling, angry, dark, and somehow just works.

How do they do it? I’m guessing if you want to make ostensibly simple music that sounds this good you obviously need to go to Mexico.

Lovelorn Dolls: Happy Valentine

Oh boy. It’s all good to sing about Armageddon, the machines taking over, war, famine, disease, the Occult, violence… but it’s unsettling when a goth-sounding group sings mordantly (I think… it’s hard to tell) about domestic violence.

Lovelorn Dolls do well-produced goth rock, leaning heavily on the polished electronic side with an excellent vocalist in Kristell Lowagie. This one came from the Sounds From The Matrix 16 CD and while I rarely pay much attention to EBM lyrics, here are the quite audible opening lines to the track Happy Valentine.

“Slap my face with your fists”

“Crush my head on the wall”

“And then come back again”

“With some flowers in your hands”

So this the goth track Happy Valentine is the odd one out from this group. It’s an undeniably catchy song, well-written, but subject matter makes it hard to ignore.

Some may feel that the unpleasant, shocking subject matter is what makes this track noticeable. Other may feel that a goth rock band, who play dress-ups and all that, can’t be taken seriously while attempting to deliver sharp social commentary. Either way, this track stays in your head.

When your objective in life is to get heard, then hasn’t your mission been achieved? At the moment it seems to be their second most popular track so they’re evidently doing something right.


Check it out here (the embedder ain't working for me for some reason)


Coming next week…
Endzeit Bunkertracks VII honourable mentions. There are 131 more tracks to choose from. Plenty of more good ones.

Top five Tuesday: 21 July, 2015

Here are five artists or releases that have been on high rotation this week. Mostly (but not all) heavy metal, and mostly new stuff — and all worth checking out.

Ozzy Osbourne: No More Tears

Someone ought to popularise a single-word term to describe the phenomenon of buying up a legitimate CD, vinyl record or digital version of a copied recording they owned when they were young.

Are you old enough to have owned dubbed cassette tapes (far out, just saying that makes me feel old!)? Or did you play burnt CD-Rs based on low-bitrate MP3s? If you did, chances are some of your most formative music was among those recordings.

You were likely a teenager back then, which is when so many of us discovered the music that shaped a substantial part of our identity — and the reason you burnt or downloaded that music was because, like most teenagers, you probably couldn’t afford much. Which is why nowadays, you acquire your music through legitimate means that support artists, right? Right?

The fact that the zeitgeist of an album or artist may have passed between then and now is a separate discussion. I’ve mentioned numerous times how I believe there is a biological reason why it becomes harder to discover new music as you get older.

So putting that aside for now, I can happily report that I owned a copy of Ozzy Osbourne: No More Tears on dubbed cassette when I was a kid. I’ve now replaced it with this here copy, which I acquired for the princely sum of $1 at an op shop. It was part of a good haul of heavy metal CDs that someone had (shamefully!) gotten rid of.

Can you believe it was 50 per cent off the $2 cover price?

No More Tears didn’t define me as my first Iron Maiden cassette tapes did but it’s still a great place to start for any 10-year-old getting into heavy metal and hard rock. Ozzy Osbourne’s sixth solo-album, released in 1991, this album has some rocking songs and some great riffs — albeit with a strong glam feel to it.

Ozzy Osbourne was ‘only’ 42 years old at the time. Although he was already something of an elder statesman of rock and metal, he wasn’t anywhere near the old-man parody of today. Hence, an Ozzy Osbourne album meant a lot more to ‘the kids’ back then than it would now. Hey, remember what I just said about zeitgeist and cultural significance then and now?

No More Tears has some great Zakk Wylde guitar riffs. The title track, despite clocking in at seven and a half minutes, brings a really cool, weird, progressive side to the music. And Lemmy — yes, that Lemmy — co-wrote several songs. He told Classic Rock magazine: “When I came to America I was broke, I had nothing in the bank… Sharon Osbourne said, “Do you want to write four songs?” and they handed me this lump sum that was more money than I’d ever seen in my life. More money than I’d ever earned with Hawkwind and Motorhead.”

On the more dubious side, No More Tears has some incredibly sappy ballads, among them Mama, I’m Coming Home — which of course became Ozzy’s most successful single.

Either way, it’s not surprising that No More Tears is the second-highest-selling album in the Ozzy Osbourne discography, after his debut, Blizzard Of Oz.

A personal highlight is the track Hellraiser, also co-written by Lemmy (as if a track called Hellraiser wouldn’t be written by Lemmy). Oddly enough, both Ozzy and Motörhead released this track, the Motörhead version appearing on the Hellraiser 3 movie soundtrack.

You may think you’re awesome, but you’ll never be Lemmy-winning-at-cards-against-the-Cenobite-Hellraiser-himself-awesome.

Xerosun

I first came across Xerosun on the Terrorizer magazine Fear Candy #142 compilation CD. I’ve heard just two tracks, yet I can’t quite put my finger on why I keep coming back to them. They’re real growers.

Xerosun are an Irish metal band that play a kind of vaguely groove metal-ish metal, with some good riffs and a vocalist in Martyna Halas who can pull off a neat balance between clean and growled vocals.

For some reason — I really can’t put my finger on it — there’s just something about those riffs combined with her dual voice that brings me back again and again. While I make no secret that I absolutely love female metal vocals, I strongly suspect it’s the Irish accent. Once you hear it, you can’t unhear it.

I think the video is kind of distracting. Listen to the talent at play here.

Because Xerosun are fronted by a woman, and a very attractive one at that, the metal world will of course in many cases judge them (and Martyna Halas  especially) way above and beyond what so many male-fronted regular shit metal band would be subjected to. Or should that be shite metal bands?

Hopefully by next century the double standard that is so prevalent in metal will be gone. As I mention below, there need to be more women making this kind of music. That way, twice as many people will show up to your gigs.

Listen to that Oirish accent in that growl. See? Now you can’t unhear it.

Bad Guys

Bad Guys: Guynaecology is the recently released album from these London-based rockers. Apart from the ingenious album name, think sleazy, straight-down-the-road, beer-soaked rock in a smoky pub somewhere. If they were Australian, I’d call them Aussie dickhead rock.

When Kevin Stewart-Panko reviewed Bad Guys’ Guynaecology album in Terrorizer he savagely rated it 2 out of 10. “Parts of the album’s second half iron out bits of the bullshit and present some halfway decent, hard rocking stoner sludge, but there’s little beyond a clever title to make this this worth investigating,” he said.

I can see why someone might not like this album. It’ simple rock that is heavily reliant on the vocalist’s personality and storytelling talent. According to the band, they got rejected from Metal Archives for not being metal enough.

After one listen, Bad Guys: Guynaecology didn’t strike me as overly memorable — except for this stand-out track. I said the Bad Guys vocalist is a story-teller, and the track Crime tells how he really, really, really wants… a Tonka truck. This one’s an ear-worm quality and the track kind of just stays with you. You’ll have to listen to it in full to hear the total non-twist at the end.

The also have another song called Prostitutes (Are Making Love In My Garden).

Lucy Cliche

You know, there just aren’t enough women electronic music producers around. You know what would happen if there were more women making electronic music? We’d have twice as many people show up at shows. Which would be great for everyone.

I don’t know much about Lucy Cliche (check out her Soundcloud account), only that she’s from Sydney and is probably a synth-hardware nerd of the best kind.

I saw Lucy Cliche perform as one of the support for Melbourne’s Forces at a recent gig. We watched this solitary performer get on stage, start twiddling knobs and buttons, and get a whole room of people going.

There were four people in our entourage and at least two of them I would consider synth people. According to these synth-nut observers, her setup was entirely from hardware. That is, there were none of those laptops — an impressive feat, I’m told.

Lucy Cliche does not make the kind of electronic music I get into at all. I like my electronic music to be dark and hard and nasty. Listening to this though, there’s just something somewhat entrancing and inviting. I’m not sure what that quality is — maybe it’s simply because she’s a good producer — but I guarantee you I wouldn’t be listening to this if I hadn’t seen here live.

That’s one of the great things about getting off your arse and checking out live shows and their support. It gets you into new music that you wouldn’t normally follow.

Ninkharsag

Really, really good black metal from the UK. I came across these guys almost at random, when I read a gig report about another group for which Ninkharsag just happened to be the support. The report described Ninkharsag as “one of the UK’s best new black metal bands” — and if their newest album is anything to go by, this may be true.

Ninkharsag are from Liverpool and are signed to Candlelight Records, the same label that has at various times put out releases from the Marduk and Emperor discography.

Their April 2015 album, The Blood Of Celestial Kings, is my only point of reference so far. It’s well-produced black metal, leaning on the more up-tempo side, played kind of straight down the line. It’s neither mind-blowing nor radically different, being neither symphonic or lo-fi or excessively weird or atmospheric. Rather, it might best be described as ‘traditional’ black metal — and it’s done really, really well. Have a listen to any track, in any order.
Also, really cool artwork and band name.

Ulcerate, Denouncement Pyre, Altars | Death metal at the Bendigo Hotel | June 27, 2015

“What are you doing for the weekend?” someone asked? “I’m going to see some wonderfully disgusting, filthy death metal at a wonderfully, disgusting, filthy venue,” I said.

Ok, so the Bendigo Hotel is actually not bad a venue, and is hardly disgusting and filthy. Indeed, if you’re a live rock music kind of person from Melbourne then you may be acquainted with the toilets just down the road at the famous Tote hotel. Now they’re pretty special!

The Bendigo Hotel is one of those venues that is brilliant by virtue of the fact that it puts on gigs and music that most other venues won’t touch, among them a high proportion of Australian death metal, black metal, punk, and rock gigs — music that gets people running and screaming. Plus, it’s got a nice beer garden.

The occasion to visit the Bendigo Hotel was to see an extreme metal band showcase, featuring two Australian death metal outfits (ok, one was technically blackend thrash for the kvlt purists; hands up all two of you), plus some well known gentlemen from New Zealand.

Altars are a local outfit I don’t know much about. I’d call them an underground Australian death metal act, playing thick, heavy and complex extreme music that Morbid Angel lovers may appreciate.

Denouncement Pyre are another Melbourne band, playing a fierce brand of what some like to refer to as blackened thrash. They’re on the Hells Headbangers record label and heavy metal shop and have a thing for playing tight, heavy, blackened death metal.

Ulcerate were the headliner and are arguably New Zealand’s best known extreme metal band right now. They play complex, technical, dark, thick, oppressive death metal; they have time changes and ever-changing murky guitar riffs; they all have short hair; and they’re on the well-known Relapse Records store and label that provides international distribution. Choice bro!

It all looked like it was going to be a good gig. But first, we had to get there! You see, public transport in Melbourne is fundamentally designed to get people into the city and out again. As we soon discovered — or perhaps we should have known better, seeing as we both live there — travelling through the inner city isn’t quite what as easy.

We had the audacity to visit a friend’s house beforehand in Richmond, which took a train and a tram to get there. From there it was another two trams plus an extensive walk through the back streets of Collingwood. We called it the scenic route. In winter. In the dark. That’s pretty metal, right?

Eventually we got there but before I go any further, I should get one or two things off my chest.

Denouncement Pyre at the Bendigo Hotel (pic: Bed)

Australian death metal

I always say — because it’s something I feel very strongly about — that people get way too obsessed about making it known just how rubbish a certain band was they didn’t like. The mere fact that you were there becomes all the more reason to cry even louder about it, even if the performance wasn’t actually that terrible and merely didn’t knock you off your socks. Indeed, if you want to know what real rubbish sounds like, just glance at this week’s iTunes charts or last year’s most streamed music.

I guess that’s my feeble excuse for disclosing that I didn’t see much of the first band, Altars. The tremendous amount of changing trams, the long walk, and the sheer enthralling scenery of the back street of Collingwood had thoroughly worn me out. I did say the Bendigo Hotel had a nice beer garden.

Denouncement Pyre

Denouncement Pyre live was the outfit I was most looking forward to. I could attempt to half-arsedly describe the Denouncement Pyre live set, but you’ve heard similar accounts a million times before, filled with terms like “brutal” and “heavy” and “savage”. It’s far more meaningful if I tell you that one person in our entourage who is not at all into black and death metal — but who still gets out plenty and is into some cool music — made a point of saying how much he liked it. When someone who doesn’t own or wear a bullet belt says how tight your death metal band is, then you’re onto a good thing.

Denouncement Pyre are a band going places – literally. They’re playing Maryland Deathfest 2016. Plus, a cover of Motörhead — Sacrifice near the end was a great way to close proceedings (also, everyone should listen to at least on Motörhead album every day).

My only real complaint was the conduct of one or two punters in the front row. Call me old and cranky, but — now that I’m no longer of that age where I can happily drink and party all night, grab two hours of sleep and still survive a shift at some shitty casual job, and then have enough spark to head out again that night — I’ve also grown noticeably less keen on copping beer showers.

Now, During Denouncement Pyre, there were one or two interesting characters near the front. One chap (not the dude shown below; he was having an awesome time), a rather rough looking gentleman, was clearly and very intensely into the music, which was a good thing. Much rage and blasphemy was evident in him, if the way he invoked the Elder Gods in the sky of the Bendigo Hotel band room ceiling was anything to go by. This too was a good thing.

Not so cool was the fact that all this skyward blaspheming evidently wasn’t enough to appease those dark deities and bring about the desired Apocalyptic Reckoning — those Elder Gods demand more, in this case in the form of a beer sacrifice (maybe he knew that Motörhead track was coming?). 

Denouncement Pyre put on a tight set. This guy (not the Beer Blasphemer) in the front was awesomely getting into the drumming.

Entire volumes could be written (and probably have) on correct behaviour at a heavy metal show, be it a pub, a festival or a squat. That unspoken line that dictates when it’s cool to be thrashing like a maniac and when you’re expected to mind your personal space is a silent code that blow-ins, onlookers and other non-metal types find hard to comprehend. Kind of like when foreigners try to comprehend Aussie rules footy.

For the uninitiated, all that good, friendly, violent fun at a heavy metal gig means learning a whole new etiquette, much of which can only be truly understood by being in the thick of it. And while the Rules of Metal abound with oddities, contradictions, and exceptions, the one thing everyone does agree on — whether you’re making a grim statement on the human condition by misanthropically crossing your arms in the front row, or running laps in a circle pit with 400 other human bumper cars — is this simple rule: don’t be a tool!

Now this gentleman wasn’t doing the right thing by his beer. Appearing somewhat tired and emotional, he had his arm outstretched and his beer at the end of it, swaying about, threatening to spill over at any moment. While there are those who may enjoy dousing themselves in beer, I personally prefer to go home dry. There were at least half a dozen of us and we all stepped back, resulting in a subtle but nonetheless unnatural gap near the front of the stage, a gap that should have been filled with banging heads and thrashing hair.

But here’s the odd thing.

As Beer Blasphemer did his thing there was suddenly some unexpected body contact with a fellow innebriator. It was hardly a collision, nor was it that dramatic, but it was definitely a close meeting of personal space.

Beer Blasphemer slowly raised his head and looked menacingly at the other chap.

“Here we go,” I thought, readying myself to retreat from something that looked like it could blow up — whereupon Beer Blasphemer promptly smothered the guy with a glorious man-hug, a warrior embrace that would make a Norse chieftain proud. It happened several times and they all had a great time.

No violence ensued and the Elder Gods were pleased.

Ulcerate

All this excitement was getting too much for an oldie like me, so once Denouncement Pyre finished we returned to the beer garden. Eventually I got back to the band room to catch the last three or four tracks of Ulcerate’s tar-like brand of complex, technical death metal.

It’s great to see a death metal band obviously enjoying the music they love. They must have worked hard for it throughout their discography and have some notable recognition by being on the well-known Relapse Records heavy metal record label. They took the time and effort to tour Australia, which cannot be cheap when coming from New Zealand.

I especially liked the ferocious vocals, and the rest of Ulcerate were exceedingly precise. It’s the first time I’ve seen a metal drummer — on a kit that must have occupied half the stage — play live with some large headphones, which, I was told later, was a click-track. His look of concentration could have stunned a small child, and the whole setup suggested that this was someone who was highly dedicated to their craft (although I heard at least one comment of “isn’t that cheating?”).

If only there’d been a momentary lull in the applause and cheering between songs. That way everyone could have heard me yell out “Choice bro!” I’d been hanging out all night to say that but all that crowd approval meant no one would get to hear me do it.

So I enjoyed Ulcerate but I concluded that it wasn’t quit my cup of tea, this dark and heavy music meandering a little too much for my liking. There were nonetheless many in the audience who evidently were far more into this brand of New Zealand death metal than I was.

And yes, I still bought Vermis, the fourth album in the Ulcerate discography, for $20, from the death metal merch table.

Ulcerate live. Yeah, I know it's a rubbish photo. Send me a better pic if you've got one.

Ulcerate: Vermis

There’s an old bit of conventional wisdom that says value equates to a dollar a wear. It’s the same with music, particularly if you collect a lot of physical media like I do.

A dollar a listen per track means a $10 album, once listened to 10 times in full, has paid for itself. This formula is great for a $5 CD, since you can probably bring yourself to listen to something at least five times if you want to be absolutely sure it’s not for you.

However, it can be a problem if you invest in a fancy box set that turns out to be disappointing. Imagine, having to listen to a mediocre album 50+ times just to get your money’s worth!

At the time of publication I’d listened to Vermis about six or so times. This means I’ve got another 14 full listens to go before I get proper value from it.

Maybe by then I will have become a full convert and Ulcerate’s death metal will have become my cup of tea?

Kollaps + Terror Nullius at the Lyrebird Lounge: the memorable gigs aren’t always the most anticipated

I went to see post industrial music mongers Kollaps and supporting crust punk music outfit Terror Nullius at Melbourne’s Lyrebird Lounge. It was a free gig on a Friday night in a small but cosy suburban pub. Personally I couldn't think of a better way to seek out the (possibly) best industrial music (and filthy, thick crust punk)?

Kollaps + Terror Nullius at the Lyrebird Lounge | June 19, 2015

I’ll tell you shortly about the gig and how it went. But the dominant thought on my way there was how lucky I am to live in a city such as Melbourne with such a fantastic live music and rock scene. It reminded me how the most memorable gigs are often the ones preceded by minimum expectations.

To clarify: memorable gigs aren’t necessarily the best gigs, and minimum expectations do not necessarily mean low expectations.

Rather, memorable gigs are those which, for whatever reason, become happy conversational references. It might be the unexpectedness of the occasion, or the lack of preconception as to what’s about to occur on stage. It’s a principle that holds true for almost any type of fun social encounter, be it seeing a movie you’d never heard of or bumping into someone you hadn’t heard from for ages and then having an unplanned coffee or stronger beverage.

As for gigs, sometimes it’s the oddities before or after the event that transform the occasion from something that simply happened into an actual future talking point.

For example, when the four of us headed to the Lyrebird Lounge from my friend’s house — his place is located within close walking distance to his local rock pub, which is of course the best kind of distance to any rock pub — we spotted this finely dressed gentleman standing by the front of the gate in this block of apartments.

Now keep in mind that it’s Friday night, it’s very dark, there’s no one about, and it was the middle of winter. This chap smiled at us and with the utmost friendliness mentioned that he was having some small trouble with his mother-in-law.

“She has trouble sleeping with the light on,” he said.

Suddenly, a member of our group sprang into action. Why, of course he could help. “Do you have a light switch that needs switching off?” he exclaimed, whereupon he was promptly invited into his place to turn off said light switch. The gentleman was most thankful, even apologetic, but we made a point of saying that it was no problem at all and we wished each other a good night.

If it’s not obvious what was going on, religious doctrine constrained this man from doing — and directly asking for — that thing which he so politely implied he needed help with. And while I’m an atheist who sincerely feels you are entitled to believe in anything you want, from Pastafarianism to multi-millennia old scripture — as long as you’re not an asshole about it — I admired this gentlemen for his intense dedication. In the middle of winter. In the dark. On a dark Friday night. Plus, he seemed like a lovely guy.

As we headed off into the dark backstreets of the actually-quite-lovely Ripponlea, we knew we were close to the Lyrebird Lounge.

Terror Nullius. Crust punk!

We felt it. And then we definitely heard it before we came close to seeing it. A piercing, teeth-jarring noise from across the street. Clearly we’d arrived in time to hear crust punk outfit Terror Nullius. We went to across the road to withdraw beer money before bravely entering the Lyrebird Lounge. There we were met by shrieking riffs, screeching vocals, a drumkit suffering some severe abuse, and a polite and respectful audience sitting close to the stage around assorted round bar tables.

I mean no disrespect to anyone when I say Terror Nullius were discordant, harsh, and brilliantly, ear-bleedingly awful in so many excellent ways. If collapsing institutions and the violent fall of authority has a sound track, it would be a crust punk band like Terror Nullius.

Talking of things collapsing, the second band on the bill was industrial band Kollaps — and again, a band name doesn’t get any more industrial than Kollaps with a k.

Apart from the obvious Einstürzende Neubauten references, seeing this performance reminded me that there has historically been so much more to that complex and inherently contradictory phenomenon that is industrial music than just synthesizers and the large amount of gothic industrial music that is occasionally a rich source of debate among goths and rivet heads.

The Kollaps Facebook page describes the band as a “Nihilistic Melbourne based post-punk/noise trio.” There was lots of guitar feedback and post punk vocal wailing. It seemed like there was some Serious Business on the small stage. It wasn’t my cup of tea but it certainly wasn’t boring.

I imagine that this is the closest I’ll ever get to travelling back three decades to an English squat gig, somewhere within the abandoned wastes of a declining industrial town, hanging out with musical deviants to see dangerous artistic sickos become wreckers of civilisation. It was actually in a small suburban bar that happens to serve excellent pizza, with a small but appreciative audience sitting mere feet from the small stage around bar tables. There was no broken glass or civil disorder, although both bands announced they were in fact playing a squat gig next week, so that did enhance the authenticity.

My favourite part of the Kollaps industrial music set was the use of a steel spring as an instrument. I thought it was an excellent use of industrial materials, in the finest tradition of DIY, improvised instrument in industrial music (although I was told by a separate source that steel springs were previously used by Einstürzende Neubauten). If I do see Kollaps again, I hope to hear more live steel springs. Because steel springs are farkin' industrial!

Melbourne's Kollaps. Wreckers of civilisation.

Pity I didn't get a pic of the steel spring as an instrument.

So that was our night. It was a free gig with two bands making noisy, abrasive, unconventional and nihilistic music. I’ll be filing away pleasant recollections of this event for the future. I’m not a mystic so I can’t tell you under what context that’s going to occur. “Remember the time we went to the Lyrebird and that guy asked us if could turn the light off in his house for him” might be one. “This reminds me of the time that industrial band had a steel spring as an instrument” might be another.

Too many people — when they see a metal or punk or industrial or rock band they don’t like — get caught up in energetically making it known just how much they feel these bands are rubbish.

Yet one merely need turn to almost any radio station or on-hold music to be reminded that the real rubbish is forever stacked up as far as the eye can see.

It’s something, personally, that I feel very strongly about. “Internecine conflict is always the most savage,” a friend often says. Terror Nullius + Kollapse live at the Lyrebird Lounge will not rank as one of the best gigs I’ve ever seen, but it certainly was memorable, and for all the right reasons, if not for all the obvious ones.

Is there any point to enjoying a cultural event if it leaves no lasting memory? I would take two bands like this any day over the sea of commercial rubbish known as mainstream music.

When it was finally time to leave the venue we concluded that there just aren’t enough cool places like the Lyrebird Lounge.

If you live in Melbourne, it’s not a real suburb until it’s got its own rock bar.

Especially when it serves such excellent pizza.

What did Trent Reznor say to this fan who wanted his autograph tattooed?

I met Chris at a friend’s barbeque, talking, as one does, about music. He happened to mention how much he was looking forward to seeing Godflesh tour Australia as part of the Soundwave festival — or preferably, as a Sidewave show featuring Godflesh, Fear Factory and Ministry. Now that would be a gig if it ever happened.

He also mentioned he was a NIN and Trent Reznor fan. It was a hot day and we were all wearing shorts and t-shirts, so I happened to ask Chris about his tattoos.

No, he said, there was no connection with The Human Centipede, a question he’d clearly been asked on more than one occasion. Rather, much of his work is based off the art of Keith Haring.

Then I noticed he had a Trent Reznor autograph stencilled on the front of his wrist. There had to be a good story in there somewhere.

Just another Trent Reznor autograph tattoo.

It turns out, Chris acquired Trent Reznor’s autograph signature after he bumped into Reznor outside a hotel, prior to a Nine Inch Nails gig soundcheck. Chris asked Trent if he’d mind signing his wrist. Trent obliged and asked him what he’d do next, to which Chris replied with words to the effect of “if I can afford to get it tattooed, I might get it done tomorrow.”

So what do you do when a fan tells you they’re going to get your autograph tattooed onto their body? If you’re Trent Reznor, you pull $50 out of your pocket and give it to the fan to make sure they can get the job done.

Then Trent asked Chris if this was the first time he’d done this.

“No,” said Chris.

“Henry Rollins got to me first,” he said, turning his wrist to reveal a Henry Rollins autograph tattooed on the other side.

The reply?

“That dirty Henry,” said Trent with a laugh.

"That dirty Henry..."

We all thought this was a great story but then Chris pointed out there was one problem. While he had the signatures of two of his three favourite artists, he was missing the third one: Tom Waites.

Given the elusiveness of Tom Waites, Chris reckons he might have a hard time getting that third autograph tattoo.

But who knows. Maybe Soundwave might bring out Tom Waites one day? Are you reading this AJ Maddah?

This is Chris. Note the Keith Haring work. Also, GOD HATES FACTS. Where can I get that shirt?!