8/5/13

Nattefrost: Blood & Vomit to have “Wee” anniversary reissue

Kvlt Norwegian black metaller Nattefrost has announced a special nine-year anniversary re-issue of his infamous debut album: Blood & Vomit.
Released in early 2004, Blood & Vomit was the first solo release by Roger Nattefrost, better known as the dude from Carpathian Forest. A filthy, crusty, stripped down black metal album without any guitar solos or melancholic synth hooks, the album is infamous for its raw recordings of lead-singer Roger Nattefrost’s bodily functions. These appear on the tracks The Art of Spiritual Purification – in which he records himself vomiting – and Nattefrost Takes a Piss (no explanation needed – but seriously, look it up).
Contrary to popular belief, Nattefrost’s performance on The Art of Spiritual Purification was not recorded immediately after hearing the first Evanescence album.

Blood & Vomit. He also plays in Carpathian Forest.

As mentioned, Nattefrost: Blood & Vomit will be re-released as a special commemorative “Blood & Wee” edition that includes a bonus disc of studio outtakes. It will feature the following previously unreleased tracks:

1 Nattefrost takes a piss (remastered)
2 Nattefrost takes a dump
3 Nattefrost has Mexican for dinner
4 Nattefrost destroys a dozen bottles of Grolsch
5 Nattefrost passes out
5 Nattefrost wakes up with an upset stomach
6 Nattefrost runs to the toilet
7 Nattefrost sits on the toilet
8 Nattefrost spends longer than usual on the toilet
9 Nattefrost is still on the toilet
10 Nattefrost is scared to leave the toilet
11 Nattefrost is almost confident that it’s safe to leave the toilet
12 Nattefrost breathes a sigh of relief and is back on the couch
13 Nope, he’s back on the toilet
14 Nattefrost curses God

Said Roger Nattefrost about the new special Blood & Vomit re-issue: “To commemorate the ninth anniversary of the album, the special edition of Blood & Vomit will feature a bonus disc containing unreleased studio out-takes, as well as some of my intestinal outtakes,” he croaked.
“The bonus disc will be strictly limited to 666 copies, with each disc containing a bonus vial of my very own contagious urine.
“How much of myself will I be putting into this re-release? Put it this way: if you were to stand in front a burning church, it would  be enough to extinguish the raging flames. In short, you get a lot of me with every pissing, sorry, I mean pressing.
“Unfortunately, the process is going much slower than expected. I’m drinking like a dozen bottles of Grolsch beer every day but I've only managed to fill 60 vials so far. There are another 606 to go, so it may be the end of the year before all the anniversary edition albums of Blood & Vomit are ready for the fans.”

A delayed album? That is a shame.

Black metal fans will just have to… hold on.

Note: In case you hadn't worked it out, this is a piece of satire.

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